Comment of the week the fainting thot chateau heartiste

I continued, looking severely into her eyes, “that’s right. it goes WAY down. you’d think that if you were lucky enough to have a serious guy interested in you, a guy who has his shit together and can basically have any woman he wants, that you would want to show him that you’re worth investing in. but that’s not what you’re doing. you’re sending me messages that I can’t take you seriously, that you’re a joke. that you’re body is a joke. your life is a big joke. that you’ll give yourself away cheaply, to any guy who wants you. why would I invest in a woman like that? now, I’d like to think you’re a better woman than that, and that I CAN take you seriously, but this shit of you bringing up guys you’ve dated as if it’s something to brag about needs to stop.”


as I’m saying this she starts leaning on the kitchen counters. she’s struggling to hold herself up. I’m noticing this but I plow onward. it was a “shape up or GTFO moment”. so she struggles to stand up for a few more seconds and then she just collapses. out. fucking. cold. I caught her before she hit the floor and dragged her over to the couch. not kidding. (now I know what “dead weight” ACTUALLY means).

funniest thing about this is that this sporty lil girl (who I actually really like) is a rock climber, boot camp instructor, yoga instructor, artist, blah blah blah…. all the “I’m a cool/tough chick!” credentials, and she f’ing fainted the first time a guy ever went full patriarchy on her. blew my mind. how many more are out there begging to be overpowered in this way?

(i’ve driven women to tear-streaked hysterics with intimations of abandonment, but the only quasi-fainting thot I’ve had the pleasure to watch crumble in a heap on the floor was the one who came so hard under my meaty duress that her knees buckled and she slid down into the fetal position, which makes a certain amount of conceptional sense as a concentric fetus meme.)

Great story plumpjack. I’ve encountered similar situations in which women deny how they are valued. I was walking home with my ex once and she was talking about the harpies that she works at the office with. Something about how they went to a wedding and none of them went to grab the bride’s flower toss. My ears perked up. I asked her to clarify. “Oh, they don’t want to settle down or get married yet at all.” I replied “They know how old they are, right?” “Yeah, but they still want to get out in the world” “And you listen to them? You’re like that?” “Well…..I mean I’d like to get married but I still want to see the world and… (all I heard was TV static at this point)” I planted my eyes forward on our walk, tilted my head back and increased my pace and swagger *just* a little. “Yeah, I don’t think I could settle down with you yet either. There’s so many different women to try. I want a couple more redheads.” She gave me a look of total shock before matching my pace and trying to grab my hand back (and my attention). I should have detoured into the nearest bar.

I met a really cute woman, early thirties, divorced, on our first date she starts this shit. I came right out of the gate and said I find this topic boring and inappropriate. She subtly implied that maybe I was insecure because I didn’t want a timeline of every cock she had sucked, but she did stop. Next date, same thing and again she was firmly reminded that I had no interest in that topic, and again she changed the subject. Third date, pizza and beer, having fun, we leave the restaurant and she looks at another car in the lot and says “oh I used to date the guy who owns that car”. As I grimace she slides the dagger the rest of the way in…”he’s black”.

Our next destination was supposed to be a bar downtown but I head back toward her side of town. She gets that stupid little smirky quasi-challenging half-smile on her face (you know that look) and says “are you taking me home?” I said no and kept driving. When I got to the entrance to her subdivision, probably a quarter mile from her home, I pulled over and said GTFO. She refused. Terrible idea. I have a moonroof so I grabbed her purse and ejected it out the roof onto the sidewalk, put my car in drive, and started pulling away. Of course she squawked and hurriedly got out of the car to retrieve the purse and that’s where I left her. And then I got repeated texts that we had gotten off on the wrong foot!