Shadow to light embracing faith

I consider myself an ally. I research proper etiquette, read writers of color, vote in a way that will not harm P.O.C. (and other vulnerable people). I engage in conversations about privilege with other white people. I take courses that will further educate me. I donated to Black Lives Matter. Yet I fear that nothing is enough. Part of my fear comes from the fact that privilege is invisible to itself. What if I’m doing or saying insensitive things without realizing it?

Another part of it is that I’m currently immersed in the whitest environment I’ve ever been in. My family has lived in the same apartment in East Harlem for four generations. Every school I attended, elementary through high school, was minority white, but I’m now attending an elite private college that is 75 percent white.

I know who I am, but I realize how people perceive me and this perception feels unfair.

I don’t talk about my feelings because it’s hard to justify doing so while people of color are dying due to systemic racism and making this conversation about me would be again centering whiteness. Yet bottling it up makes me feel an existential anger that I have a hard time channeling since I don’t know my place. Instead of harnessing my privilege for greater good, I’m curled up in a ball of shame. How can I be more than my heritage?

My first instinct is to treat this as a Poe. First, this letter describes the ideal state social justice activists would love to put everyone in – crippled by shame, fear, and helplessness because of “white privilege.” Secondly, “Whitey?” Seriously? The name did provide the social justice priests, Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed, an oh so conventient excuse to consistently respond to “Whitey” as they espouse their dogma.

But then again, given the mentally fragile state of so many social justice advocates, it is quite believable there is a “Whitey” out there curled up in the fetal position while obsessing about his/her “privilege.” If so, I think this nicely demonstrates how social justice ideology can induce a kind of mental illness. For Whitey to be so obsessed and distressed by this ideology demonstrates the harm it can do.

So queer theory argues that we need to deconstruct all of these social binary oppositions. For example, man versus woman, heterosexual versus homosexual, natural versus artificial, nature versus culture. And we do this through the strategy of queering. And queering is basically a strategy of conceptual and categorical border transgression, in which each category becomes essentially meaningless and not distinct from the other. For example, if we take “man” and redefine “man” as not being a male person, but whoever feels like man, then we have queered that category and it is no longer distinct from “woman.” And this is seen as a progressive movement in getting rid of social oppression, because queer theory sees oppression as springing not from one class of people subordinating another and exploiting them for labor and resources, for their material benefit; but instead oppression comes from this very act of labelling these groups in a binary fashion, which is seen as restrictive and oppressive and people cannot express their authentic selves in this binary opposition.

This explains the core problem with the social justice advocacy of transgender issues. It’s not good enough to be tolerant of transgender people nor is it good enough to refrain from mistreating them. One must actively participate in the act of queering by agreeing the transgender women are really women. If you refuse to participate in the act of queering, you are, by their definitions, bigoted and mistreating transgenders. Queer theory is not truly a theory (in any scientific sense). It’s an ideology and a sneaky propagandistic way of manipulating a person’s desire to “get along” and “do no harm” and steering it toward an ideological agenda.

Below is a video of a woman, Dawn Hilton-Williams, who received a speeding ticket a few months ago for going 70 mph when the speed limit was 55 mph. If you watch the video, you’ll see the actual traffic stop because the police officer was wearing a body cam. Then, it is followed by Hilton-Williams FB video that went viral because it fed into the social justice narrative about an epidemic of racist cops.

When watching the video of the officer and Hilton-Williams, it becomes rather clear she is not willing to accept responsibility for her wrong-doing. In fact, she tries to make her unfortunate situation someone else’s fault. First, she seems to think that because she didn’t personally see a 55 speed limit sign, she should not be held responsible. Then, she implies there is something wrong with the officer for giving her a ticket instead of a warning. Finally, she seems to think she has the right not to sign the ticket without repercussions.

If you watched the actual traffic stop, you’ll recognize that Hilton-Williams’ description is false. There was no evidence the cop was a racist. No evidence he was a bully. He did not threaten to “pull” her out of her car. There is no evidence she was ever at risk of becoming the next victim of police abuse. None of these claims have any basis in reality.