Stan m rogers we only need the courage to say yes, i can do this and the strength to say no, i am not afraid.

The door opens, creaks eerily The world lurches, shudders My mind struggles against fear … but I enter … I fall … I cry out Anything to grab hold of Any certainty, any hope … but there is none But there is a voice, it laughs, pitilessly Tells me “Don’t fight. Just give in.” For I am condemned, alone I fight Alone I fall into dark nothingness … a child of midnight’s fears Stygian nightmares And yes as always, damned forever I hold back my tears. As I fall.Endlessly. Not knowing up or down Will I die here tonight? Shroud-less, no nails for coffin lids Will I give In to this torture This blessed crime against my hope Or will I fight back? I have before, but then I had strength Now age and time weakens me I feel frailty In my bones, In my blood … but mostly In my soul.

I feel lost, and I think I am … too many days, too many hurts, Too much damned pain. And now. Movement ceases, my fall decreases My pain … It eases For I have found a certainty A personal truth. I will find strength It may be hidden, but never lost I won’t give In I will stand tall. Again. Copyright Stan M Rogers 2018

As today I walked, step after dusty step over this parched land I felt the earth was burning. I am burning too I am burning with such passion for a new future A new world for me, unexplored, full of wonder But I ponder as I trudge along, bare chested in the sun The burning sun on my back, then in my eyes. What will this new world hold for me? I am frightened … will it be tears? Shed so frequently over recent years. More of the same? Will it be? Or … Will my new world be one of happiness? I have almost forgotten what happiness is. But I want my new world to grant it again. I want to waken each day with a smile on my sleep creased face I want to kiss you awake my future lover, share smiles Share joy, share breakfast, share laughter, share a new world. I want to love you and spoil you, whisk you away Make love to you, kiss you, tell you I love you each day. … is that my new world? Is that a future? It can be. I know it can be. With strength which I have With a certainty which I will gain I will forget pain. In my new world. My new world. Copyright Stan M Rogers 2018

I love poetry that cuts into,incises even the human psyche. I suppose that is why my own seems to be shadowy dark…I try to write happy poetry and it comes out cheesy. Perhaps writing happy stuff is hardest as the adjectives for torment and depression are so much sexier and soul touching than any other genre. Anyway I am digressing. Perhaps my love of dark poetry started with the following piece, all I know is that is by Charles Baudelaire and how did I get to discover it? Back in the late 1960s early 70s I was in love with a band called Mott The Hoople, this was before the days of pseudo glam crap such as Honaloochie Boogie etc. It was on the back cover of their second album called Mad Shadows and this piece of verse goes with the album so well. Atmospheric,self exploratory, examining the darker insanity of love, it has it all. I have been searching for it for a while now and have downloaded just about every piece of Baudelaire going including the beautiful ‘Calm’…(blogged earlier) but I had no luck locating this. I kept finding mentions of it but no actual text then Duhhhhh, so obvious eh? Are you ahead of me? Yeah I downloaded the covers of that Mott The Hoople album and Eh Voila. This is it…… Descend the way that leads to hell infernal Plunge in a deep gulf where crimes inevitable Flagellated by a wind driven from skies eternal Where all your torments, and for the all the ages Mad Shadows never at the end of your desires Shall never satisfy your furious rages And your chastisement be born of loveless fires